Will Trump’s Wall Perform Magic Tricks?


Trump says a wall of concrete or steel slats has to be built
along the U.S.-Mexico border for national security,
so I am wondering what magic tricks it would perform:
Could the wall tell that I have picked a jack of clubs
      out of my deck of blue-striped playing cards?
Would the wall rain newborn rabbits down from a hat
      on its highest point?
Could the wall read Trump’s sociopathic mind and stop his
      pathological lying?
Would the wall prevent Zeta Reticulis from piloting flying
      saucers across national boundaries?
If the wall could really protect our security, would it draw down CO2
      and methane to reverse climate change?
Will it find thousands of lost children kidnapped by Homeland Security
      from Central American parents?
Could it do something to make Trump’s skin look more human?
Would it safely melt the world’s nuclear missiles and power plants
      and drink up radioactive plutonium shakes?
Could it ferment tofu into tempeh? Find missing prophetic notebooks
      of William Blake?
Would concrete or steel slats improve global free-speech protection?
Could a wall provide medical treatments for sick kids whose parents
      cannot afford a doctor?
Will it stop another meteor from destroying Earth’s large-sized life again?
      Can it bring back even one recently extinct species?
Could it prevent the monthly flooding and power outages
      in my home town of Hoboken?
Would it create a new Israeli/Palestinian peace plan without having
      to wait for Jared Kushner to finish his schooling?
Could the wall compete against the best magicians on America’s Got Talent?
Will it prevent the healthiest apple polyphenol dust from leaving our country?
Can it send more young progressives like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
      into Congress?
Could it fix the broken zipper on my winter jacket? Filter out the lead in
      too many U.S. water supplies? Find a cure for chronic Lyme disease?
Would the wall offer a good resting pillow for the necks of zebras?
Could it patch potholes? Stabilize bridges? Fix electric grids?
Prevent ransom computer viruses from spreading across the web?
Would the wall prevent Trump from ripping up any more peace treaties?
Okay, I just picked a new card. Wall, can you tell me what it is?

Eliot Katz, 2019